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Saturday, February 20, 2010

Something I wrote a long time ago. It may be the work I'm most proud of.

"slow, the change of time is slow, but nigh.
inside, the sense of my heart belittles my mind.
in time, to a heartbeat quake that quivers with mine."


Ryan said...

"...to a heartbeat quake that quivers with mine."

What an amazing rhythm! I'm curious as to why the third line is the only one that's not a complete sentence. Or is it merely a continuation of the second line? Is it saying that your mind is being transformed to this synchronized heart beat?

Either way, beautiful word choices and rhythms.

Mike said...

David, I've reread your short poem 3 - 4 times a week since you posted it, because I really like its musical qualities, its rhythm and beat. It's a very dense piece of work that I'm still trying to de-layer and make proper intellectual sense of. I just couldn't let it go uncommented any longer, even though I'm still making sense of what I think it means. Excellent work!

David said...

Thanks, guys, I'm glad to know you don't think it is stupid!