Coming home to lights left on and empty rooms.
All along you knew
This was at the end of it all
But it's still too soon
To be alone again
Will you sleep alone?
Masks let down
We see the actors on the stage
The show is done
The curtain falls
Lights cut down and then they fade
But you're still clinging to the part
Shadows on the stage
Playing to the crowd
You fall away
And leave me to myself
I could never be all you wanted
And fade away
Let me go
And fade away
All we can be
Is memories in a frame
All we can see
The lies that we once claimed
And who we are
Will never be the same
Two became one
Now only one remains
Remains
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3 comments:
Hmm, I like the stage analogy.
It makes me think that they approached the whole thing as just a play in the first place. "How long can we keep up the masquerade?"
And you further this by saying "all along you knew this was at the end of it all"
I wonder why you would start if you knew this was the end.
I think you would start because you hoped things could change. Because you wanted things to work so badly that you ignore the reality of the situation. I can testify to that kind of hope and how blinding it can be.
Looking back at this, I feel like it's a little too depressing. I feel that it really describes the situation accurately (for all the reasons David mentioned), and people other than me or my cousin can easily relate to it. However, there's simply no hope, or even any resolution. It's just describing the situation. I'm thinking about making this slight change to the last few lines.
Original:
All we can be
Is memories in a frame
And all we can see
The lies that we proclaimed
Who we are
Will never be the same
Two became one
Now only one remains
New:
All we can be
Is memories in a frame
And all we can see
The lies that we proclaimed
Standing tall
I'm finding my own way
Two became one
Now only one remains
What do you think?
I agree that the original is depressing all the way through. However, I have concerns with your rewritten ending. I think the entire song is written to convey the final acknowledgment that the speaker had ignored a reality that he otherwise knew, deep inside. Acknowledging that the speaker knew better, yet acted anyway out of a false hope is a very tough thing to do, and I think coming to terms with that acknowledgment is the process explained in this song.
The first stanza describes the acknowledgment itself in lines 2-3, and yet conveys that despite that healing act, the speaker still isn't ready to move on completely.
Stanza 2 reiterates this attachment, ending with an interesting request of the "spirit of the other" to let him go.
The 3rd stanza draws conclusions based on the acknowledgment and remaining attachment: healing observations admitting the ultimate unimportance of any one person in lines 1-2, and again acknowledging that even if acceptance is achieved, change is inevitable: "we are / Will never be the same".
Sorry for the long analysis, but I didn't think I could effectively convey my concerns with your changes without it. Now we come to your addition, which I think is too strong of a turn of events. The song is discussing the difficulty of releasing the attachment, even when acknowledgment has been achieved. And then this strong statement that effectively means, 'Ok, I'm over it now': "Standing tall / I'm finding my own way". I don't like the abrupt change.
If you really wanted to instill some optimism into the ending, I would focus on lines 3-4 in the last stanza, which say that the speaker's mind is completely overshadowed by the lies he once accepted, probably the most depressing statement in the entire song.
But even without any change, I think the line "Now only one remains" has some potential implied optimism because it shows that 2 became 1, and though the separation back into 2 resulted in loneliness, 1 still remains, which means that that 1 can still move on. And the means to accomplish that is described in the second stanza: the speaker needs to realize that it isn't truly the "spirit of the other" that is not allowing him to fade away (into ultimate acceptance & healing), it is him holding on -- there is still one lie that the speaker hasn't yet acknowledged.
That's my 23.23 won (at today's exchange rate).
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