Babies are Good

I think sexual education in this country has backfired, and I think our culture is out of balance.

People like sex, and I don't think any amount of education is going to change that. Most of the sex ed classes talk about having one partner, and if not, practicing very safe sex habits. Here in the South, they will also throw in that it's a really good idea to pick one lady, marry her, and then get after it. However, in every sexual education, tv program or whatever I've heard, there was one subtle reason why you shouldn't have sex. Babies.

Babies will ruin your life. Your life is over after you have babies. You will not go to college. You won't get a good job. I even heard one show tell you that after you have babies you no longer have any friends.

As I look around, especially living in a college town, I am beginning to think that babies are bad is the only thing that people take away from sex ed in school. Rarely is the advice of abstinence heeded, and maybe someone listened carefully about safe sex practices, but it's not done in a relationship, it's to avoid getting all the women one is after pregnant. It is interesting to see the reactions my wife and I get as we move around the campus, or anywhere else there is a large group of "college kids." My wife and I can empty the apartment complex's pool in 10 minutes by showing up with our son to swim. It starts all of a sudden when we walk in, everyone hushes. Then, we get in the pool, and they'll start talking quietly. Then one by one, they'll give some excuse of somewhere they have to be or something they have to do, and exit as fast as possible. I guess baby disease is something that can be spread by the community water of a pool.

My life certainly didn't end with Eli's birth. I will be completing my degree in December, no worse the wear for having a child. Believe it or not, we still have friends! Friends around our age, too, even if they are like us and are young couples who have children. Corey and I still get to go on dates. I think the biggest thing is, that instead of Eli feeling like a burden when he's around, it feels like something is missing when he is not.

I hope to have all the children we are going to have by the time i'm thirty. People I guess wait until everything is perfect to have a baby, if they want a baby at all. Babies come when they come, and I think having one makes you ready. You rise to the challenge. Babies are good.

The Great Buffalo

The Great Buffalo

The prairie shakes, relaxed greens
and driftwood browns part as they pass
or falter under hoof. Herd traces
pond's path, fragrant flame from many
strides upwind pulls their noses aft-
No fear- no hunt in the west wind.

Invocations rise up, carry me,
kin to man, like a king
on his Royal Stallion.  Their
hearts pulse for me,
chants embrace me
  dum da-dum-dum  dum dum
The hunt is on.

But I remain silent.

We flee and we fight
fear pushing, pulling, but only in
body as Spirit is soothed through
devotional dance and earned respect
for our sinew and meat
our bladder and hide
our bones and our liver
our hair and our dung.

Seduced not but soothed, our spirit
still smiles though bison-bone spear
points pierce buffalo hide.

The prairie shakes, the bison die.

 dum da-dum-dum  dum dum
Their hearts embrace me
Chants pulse for me.

- Mike Banys, 2006

Thought for the Day
The Movie "The Hangover" is for people who like "Dude, Where's My Car", but are now adults.